It reminded me of an unpleasant trip to the student health center my freshman year in college...So I have a UTI and I went to the doctor and she went on and on about how teachers get UTIs a lot because they don't pee enough or drink enough. I was like "I'm not a teacher." But I thought I would pass along her warning to you since you actually are a teacher.See, aren't you glad I'm around?
ME: I have to pee all the time and it really hurts.
NURSE: Sounds like a urinary tract infection. Have you had intercourse recently?
ME: No. (What I'm really thinking: It's March and I have yet to meet a straight man here. This is the f*cking Village, after all.)
NURSE: Nothing has been bumping up against the area? (Demonstrates what bumping means by smacking her hands together, in case I managed to get into a prestigious university without ever encountering that particular verb.)
ME: Um, no. Is there some kind of prescription you can write or something?
NURSE: You should refrain from having sex, or letting anything bump up against your vulva, until you are done with these antibiotics.
ME: Sure thing.
I hope you enjoyed this post. I wrote it instead of preparing for the job interview I have tomorrow. Wish me luck!
At your job interview, you might not want to utter the phrase "bump up against my vulva." Though I'll give you five bucks if you do.
ReplyDelete