1. I quit my job and have taken a new one for next year. The schools are about as different as two schools could be. It seems like a good idea to do something completely different, I guess, since this year totally kicked my ass. But Husband says he has never known me when I liked my job, so we'll see.
2. My period is three days late. This is what I get after the last post. But I took two pregnancy tests and they were both negative. Whew! I hope.
3. Husband and I are attempting to landscape our yard. We have decided, I think, to stay in the 'burbs till next summer. So I decided that if we are going to live here we might as well make it look like the house doesn't belong to an 80 year-old shut in on a fixed income.
4. Husband brought me cupcakes from Magnolia Bakery in NYC lat week. And now I love him a little more.
5. We are going to Hawaii in six weeks. Ack! I am not at all bikini ready (see #4).
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Monday, April 14, 2008
Oh, baby! ... Oh. Baby?
This is a hot topic in the Bliss household lately. We have been married about two years, I am hurtling towards 30, and my mother makes a face kind of like this whenever I give any hint of bearing her grandchildren:
We have been back and forth about impending parenthood, Husband and I. At first it was that I wanted a baby and he wasn't sure it was the right time, but now we are both rather schizophrenic in our baby lust/fear. It seems we are incapable of ever making a simple decision, and this tendency is only amplified when we are talking about the most momentous decision of our lives. I mean, marrying Husband was kind of a big deal, but if we get sick of each other we can always get divorced with really very little social stigma. It doesn't seem to work that way with kids. I don't think you are allowed to say, "My toddler and I just kind of grew apart. I don't like who I am when we are together. I just become this naggy bitch, telling him what to do all the time, and I'll do anything to keep him happy. We want different things from life, and we both agreed it would be best if we parted ways."
Nope, once sperm meets egg you have that sucker for the rest of your life. My brother is 32 and he still shows up at my parents' house for a free meal at least once a week. Honestly, some nights I can barely feed myself. I don't think I am ready to sign up for 30+ years of someone else wanting stuff from me. And yet that sounds so selfish and immature.
Also, I am not happy about the mammalian task that lies ahead of me. I don't want to feel barfy for weeks on end, be so swollen with parasitic offspring that I literally cannot breath, and then, as Kirstie Alley says in Look Who's Talking, I have to push something to size of a watermelon out of a hole the size of a lemon. I don't think your girl parts are ever the same after that. After that you get to spend the next year lactating contstantly, like Belle the Blue Bell cow, but I would imagine much less chipper. I was really happy to hear that Oprah dug up a pregnant man until I found out he was a transsexual. Man, I wish my husband was a tranny.
All this baby talk started because I hate my current job, so I would tell Husband things like, "You have to knock me up so I can quit this horrible job!" Having a baby was kind of like a fresh career opportunity without the hassle of sending out resumes. But now that I will almost certainly have a different job next year, I'm reevaluating my options. We were both on board to start trying for a baby this summer. I even started taking prenatal vitamins and told my mom to cheer her up when my dad was in the hospital a few weeks back. Now I think the current plan is to wait another year. Apparently "next year" is always our ideal time to start a family. I am really starting to think that a broken condom will be our route to parenthood. Either that or I will be one of those women who turns 38 and realizes she forgot to have children.
We have been back and forth about impending parenthood, Husband and I. At first it was that I wanted a baby and he wasn't sure it was the right time, but now we are both rather schizophrenic in our baby lust/fear. It seems we are incapable of ever making a simple decision, and this tendency is only amplified when we are talking about the most momentous decision of our lives. I mean, marrying Husband was kind of a big deal, but if we get sick of each other we can always get divorced with really very little social stigma. It doesn't seem to work that way with kids. I don't think you are allowed to say, "My toddler and I just kind of grew apart. I don't like who I am when we are together. I just become this naggy bitch, telling him what to do all the time, and I'll do anything to keep him happy. We want different things from life, and we both agreed it would be best if we parted ways."Nope, once sperm meets egg you have that sucker for the rest of your life. My brother is 32 and he still shows up at my parents' house for a free meal at least once a week. Honestly, some nights I can barely feed myself. I don't think I am ready to sign up for 30+ years of someone else wanting stuff from me. And yet that sounds so selfish and immature.
Also, I am not happy about the mammalian task that lies ahead of me. I don't want to feel barfy for weeks on end, be so swollen with parasitic offspring that I literally cannot breath, and then, as Kirstie Alley says in Look Who's Talking, I have to push something to size of a watermelon out of a hole the size of a lemon. I don't think your girl parts are ever the same after that. After that you get to spend the next year lactating contstantly, like Belle the Blue Bell cow, but I would imagine much less chipper. I was really happy to hear that Oprah dug up a pregnant man until I found out he was a transsexual. Man, I wish my husband was a tranny.
All this baby talk started because I hate my current job, so I would tell Husband things like, "You have to knock me up so I can quit this horrible job!" Having a baby was kind of like a fresh career opportunity without the hassle of sending out resumes. But now that I will almost certainly have a different job next year, I'm reevaluating my options. We were both on board to start trying for a baby this summer. I even started taking prenatal vitamins and told my mom to cheer her up when my dad was in the hospital a few weeks back. Now I think the current plan is to wait another year. Apparently "next year" is always our ideal time to start a family. I am really starting to think that a broken condom will be our route to parenthood. Either that or I will be one of those women who turns 38 and realizes she forgot to have children.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Living the Effin' Dream
So I hear that certain of Husband's college friends are jealous that we own a home here in Awesome City (or close by, at least) while they are renting somewhere cold and foggy. Well, don't be.
I HATE having a house. Houses are for families with handy men with lots of time to putter, i.e. my parents and probably yours. Husband is not handy nor does he have time or the inclination to wander around fixing stuff. This is where home ownership becomes a giant, expensive pain in the ass. For example, we spent about four hours and $60 fixing our shower so our shower doesn't drip incessantly. And that was with the borrowed tools and expertise of my dad.
Also, our house smells awful. I spilled a giant bucket of water in the living room and I think it has mildewed. Now we will have to live here forever. People will walk out of our open house and say, "That was a really cute house, but what WAS that smell?"
I HATE having a house. Houses are for families with handy men with lots of time to putter, i.e. my parents and probably yours. Husband is not handy nor does he have time or the inclination to wander around fixing stuff. This is where home ownership becomes a giant, expensive pain in the ass. For example, we spent about four hours and $60 fixing our shower so our shower doesn't drip incessantly. And that was with the borrowed tools and expertise of my dad.
Also, our house smells awful. I spilled a giant bucket of water in the living room and I think it has mildewed. Now we will have to live here forever. People will walk out of our open house and say, "That was a really cute house, but what WAS that smell?"
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