Husband and I have tried to make date night a weekly ritual in our house lately. It turns out I start to dislike Husband and the general marriage experience when all we do is sit on the sofa ignoring each other. Anyhoo, this week date night included a trip to the gym, dinner at Chipotle, and perusing the shelves of our local B&N. Turns out date night is a little less spectacular when you are trying to be both financially and calorically responsible.
I could ramble on some more about the specifics of date night, but I think it might be more fun to make it into a quiz I like to call "Husband or Wife?: Know Your Anonymous Bloggers." See if you can guess which spouse uttered the following little romance morsels.
1. "We're married now. I've sufficiently lowered my expectations."
2. "Should I read you the chapter entitled 'Guy-Q' or the one called 'Your Man Plan?'" (Bonus: Can you name the author and title of the book?)
3. "No, I wasn't laughing at you. I was laughing at the Complete Ball Workout. I'm gonna work out my balls."
4. "Can we go? My hands are really cold."
5. "Dr. Laura's first tool for marriage: 'There's no I in team.' Apparently I could have learned a lot about marriage by reading the T-shirt of that guy on the baseball team I sat behind in 11th grade social studies."
6. "Let's go to Barnes and Nibble."
7. "You mean Barnes and Nipple. Ha!"
ANSWERS:
As an aside, I wish Blogger.com would let me type the answers upside down so you people don't cheat. Also it would look more like a real Cosmo quiz.
1. Husband, upon receiving a sloppy kiss from me. Kiss was justifiably sloppy because I lost my balance due to sore ass from above-referenced gym visit.
2. Wife, when offering to entertain Husband with a reading from Dr. Phil's I Will Yell at You so You Can Stop Being Such a Loser and Find the Courage to go to Match.com and Trap a Man Already. Or something along those lines.
3. Husband upon catching a glimpse of a book with directions on using one of those giant balls to work out your abs, and as I was saying something important and meaningful I can't currently recall.
4. Husband. I like to point it out publicly when Husband says things that make him sound like a woman.
5. Wife. Husband and I share a deep and abiding hatred for Dr. Laura. More abiding, perhaps, than our love for each other.
6. Husband.
7. Wife. I did not say such things before meeting Husband. It is all Husband's fault.
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4 comments:
Nipples! Balls! You guys are way more fun than you think. I mean that as a compliment, but the impersonality of the interent makes it sound sarcastic. It's not.
Also, your date nights are very "married couple." Which I guess is the idea. My girlfriend and I's date nights consist almost entirely of drinking until one of us has to turn the other over so they don't choke on their own vomit.
wow. that sounds like my date nights. are you my boyfriend?
Try for smaller dates once a week, and a nice big date once a month.
I'm a big fan of diner dinners and cheap strip clubs.
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