I should start a "Dear Wife" advice column

Below is an email from a bride friend, along with my experienced wife response. I thought our friend who is getting married in 12 days and who swears she reads the blog might appreciate it.

ok, so have a few questions/thoughts

1. when did weddings start to be about everyone else but the bride and groom

You know, my dad told me that weddings are like funerals - they are for the family, not the guest of honor. After going through the process, I see what he means.

2. the comment "whatever you two want to do." has become a phrase that means nothing. its really what everyone else wants

"Whatever you want to do" is a very passive aggressive statement. The only way to combat it is to go ahead and do whatever you want. If that person (mom or mother-in-law I'm guessing?) really wants their way they should be a grown up and say so. I think "screw you" is a great motto for the bride.

3. is it a bad thought to just want this whole wedding thing to be over with, you don't care what everyone wears, who is there or what the cake tastes like, you just want it over and hearing a mariachi band play pada-dadadadada, dadadadada, padadadadada dadadada. (which means a suite and a jacuzzi in mexico with no family present.)

Later you will be glad you had a wedding. Like a year later. We just had our anniversary a week or so ago and I am just now over hating the wedding experience. So hang in there. In late 2008 you will be glad you did this.