Today was Wife's friends' 8 year anniversary, so Wife volunteered us to go babysit their 2 year old twins and 9 month old baby. After this experience, I have a whole new appreciation for multiple levels of redundancy in birth control.
The scary thing is their kids are incredibly well behaved. There's no way our kids will be that nice to each other when they're 2, and certainly no way our 9 month old baby will ever just quietly amuse himself/herself for hours on end. It would be one thing if they were just miserable little shits that behaved horribly. Then we could just say, "Well, OUR kids won't be like that." But no, these kids were pretty great. So we have nowhere to go but downhill from this.
All bitching aside, it was actually kind of fun in a way. Their kids are sweet, and it was fun to test-drive the whole parenthood experience. It was like time-traveling to the future when we'll have kids, realizing "Oh shit, this changes every part of your life!" and then get to drive back home to blissful childless reality. Actually, it's more like being a juvenile delinquent and getting sentenced to spend a night in jail to be scared straight.
In honor of our friends (and our brief time in their shoes), I'd like to present the following Top 10 list of things I will really, really, really miss whenever we finally decide to start having kids:
1. Sleep
2. Quiet
3. Sex
4. Profanity
5. Going out to the movies
6. Spontaneity
7. Leaving the house
8. Relating to the outside world
9. Violent, profane TV shows
10. Not having to wipe anyone's ass but my own
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4 comments:
Whose ass did you wipe? I'm sorry you were traumatized by having to sit on the couch and watch me do it twice.
8 things that will not suck when we have a baby...
1. They smell good (as long as you stay on top of the ass-wiping).
2. They say "Peese" and "Tank ooh."
3. You get to play with their toys.
4. Pantry always stocked with Goldfish crackers and Fruit Roll-Ups.
5. When you tickle babies they just giggle. When I tickle Husband he gets all pissy.
6. "Afraid she'll eat my baby" is a good excuse to get rid of Cat.
Hmmm, I can only think of six, and some of those are kind of flimsy. Maybe when I can think of eight we can have a kid.
Husband and I babysat two weeks ago for a 3 and 5 year old. Husband went totally parental and shut off the tv during dinner because some people wanted to know what happened in Power Rangers. I totally had no idea he had it in him.
~ Parsingtime
People won't let me babysit for some reason. I think it's because they're jealous of how awesome I am with kids.
Husband 1 appreciates Husband 2's awesome entry on Wife 1's blog in response to the "Mother of God" blog. Nice!
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