Stand by your man

Eliot Spitzer and his out of control man parts are all over the news lately. In general the story kind of bores me, as I am not nearly as interested in the seedy details as your average cable news anchor. When I saw the picture of "Kristen" on the front page of CNN.com I had the same reaction I always have to thin girls in bikinis, namely wondering why her thighs look like that and mine are all pasty and fat. I have bad thigh karma and am clearly paying for something horrible my thighs did in a former life.

Naturally, being a wife these days, I am fascinated by that poor Silda Spitzer. Here's a picture of her standing supportively a step behind her husband while he tells the world that he betrayed her.


I don't really care where old Eliot stuck it, but I am dying to know what is going on between those two right now. I've heard a lot of references to "standing by your man" in the media lately, but I think it is not accurate to assume that she is standing by her man just because she is, you know, standing right there by him. That facial expression could be interpreted a variety of ways. For example, "Where did this all go so wrong? I will do anything to save our broken marriage." Or maybe, "Eh, better her than me." My money's on, "Should I stop by the divorce lawyer's office before or after I pick up the dry cleaning?"

Really, it's not my place to judge because I don't think you can ever truly know how you would react until you are in such a situation. Except that I do. I would react just like this lady from China.



Cheating husband outed on Chinese Olympic TV

Her husband was in the middle of a news conference announcing a new Olympics network in China. She hopped on stage an announced to the world the the bastard was cheating on her. I love it! Husband would never let me near the stage if he were in the position of publicly announcing his infidelities. He knows I would channel my inner Strong Black Woman, steal the microphone, and say something like this:

"Girlfriend! Let me tell you what this fool did. He spent eighty goddamn thousand dollars on hos! Can you effin' believe it?! Me neither. And then he brings me up here like I'm just gonna smile and hold his hand. I don't owe that fool a thing. He owes me. Eighty. Thousand. Dollars."

But see, Husband knows this, and that's why he keeps it in his pants. Or maybe that's why he will never seek public office. Hopefully not just the latter.