I just spent about four hours non-stop-shopping. I went in search of a dress to wear to a wedding that Husband is in this weekend. I was excited about this shopping trip because it's the first time since starting grad school that I've felt comfortable spending whatever I feel like on an article of clothing. No more choosing between the two dresses in my size on the TJ Maxx sale rack.
But today was like that first time Julia Roberts goes shopping in Pretty Woman. Except instead of snooty sales girls, it was the dresses themselves conspiring against me. Here's why: (1) All the dresses seemed to come in size 4 or size 12. There is no amount of sucking in that could allow me to fit in a 4. Apparently I should have stayed fat, because if I were still a size 12 I would be set. (2) I don't want to wear a cotton dress to a fancy wedding, or a long dress because I'm not entering a pageant. That leaves about 7% of the dresses in stores right now for me to consider. (3) Summer dresses are not made for girls with boobs. They are cut so bra straps show and it's just not an option for me to go braless. Apparently I can duct tape my boobs together but the removal part scares me.
So now I don't even want to go. Not that I'm not really happy for the couple and everything. But I have literally looked everywhere I can think of and I have nothing to wear. I spent four hours at the mall and I left with two oven mitts to replace the ones Husband ruined with melted cheese (on a side note, I love how Husband makes things with melted cheese overflowing). So right now my options are wearing nothing but two very snazzy new oven mitts, or digging something out of the Goodwill bag in the garage. I hate how men can just wear pants everywhere. Those bastards.
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5 comments:
I'm wearing a dress that I have to drive to Rhode Island to find...after being to every store in Boston. And what is up with the prom dresses this year? Hussy's and whores who like to wear hot pink and yellow must be everywhere. Parsingtime
Had...had to drive to rhode island. Sorry about that!
Did you try Shoshanna? She makes clothes for busty woman. Or so she says. Apparently she makes clothes for rich, busty women.
okay, being the good friend that I am, I looked up where you can buy Shoshanna's post-Jerry creations. Saks or Nordstroms. I do have to give her credit for thick straps.
Fear not - I missed this post and thought you looked great at the wedding! Although I do think the entire look would have been tied together with the oven mits.
Trust me, I struggle just as much every time I go out 'mission shopping'...which is always when my boyfriend manages to find 6 new shirts - argh!
BTW - the store I got my dress from is Coast (http://www.coast-stores.com/fcp/categorylist/package/Wedding?productsPerPage=114). I don't know if they ship to the US, but these guys are the only reason I stay sane while dress shopping.
~unhitched texpat
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