I was bored so I went to Costco today.

So I think I am what a D.C. policymaker would refer to as the "underemployed." Now that I have a Masters degree I net $63.53 per day as a substitute teacher. And this week I haven't even done that because my employer, Generic Suburb ISD, has been closed for staff development.

So to occupy my underemployed ass I went to Costco today. When Husband and I bought our house the previous owners told us we simply HAD to get a Costco membership if we were going to own a home. They told us this on three separate occasions. We thought they were weird. Turns out they were right. I love Costco. It's like Sam's Club for people with good taste and a social conscience. Here's a summary of my trip to Costco in list form, because I'm too lazy to punctuate.

Things I was supposed to buy...

• Bottled water
• Diet Dr Pepper
• Hand soap

Things I actually bought...

• Bottled water
• Diet Dr Pepper
• Hand soap
• 2 lb. container of strawberries
• 6 pairs of gym socks
• 24 Clif bars
• 36 individually wrapped hunks of cheddar cheese
• Gas for my car
  

Things I wanted to buy...

• A shelving unit for our garage
• A toilet
  
• Pretty flowers
• Sun-dried tomato basil cheese torte
• Dubliner Irish Cheddar (2 lb. wedge)
  
• Package of 24 hand towels
• Package of 12 toothbrushes
  
• A set of patio furniture
  
• Or maybe that other set of patio furniture
• Various pieces of living room furniture, including a leather love seat, an upholstered storage bench, and two green arm chairs
• Bookshelves for Husband's DVD collection
  
• A special issue of Cooking Light magazine about quick weeknight dinners
• An issue of The Economist for Husband
  
• Giant box of Kashi TLC crackers
• Giant box of cheddar cheese flavored Quakes
• Giant box of frozen waffles
  
• Giant box of organic diet soda
  
• 12-pack of clear plastic shoe boxes
• Miscellaneous office supplies
• A trip on an African safari
  
• $8.99 worth of green grapes
• $8.99 worth of red grapes because Husband won't eat the green ones
  
• Organic bananas

When Husband asked about my trip to Costco I emphasized all of the many things I wanted to buy but didn't. It seemed to distract him from inquiring about my plans for two pounds of strawberries, a fruit which only I will eat. Now I've got to stop typing so I can go put on some gym socks, wash my hands with anti-bacterial soap, eat a hunk of cheese, and slice some strawberries.