Rockin' The Suburbs

Tonight turned into an inadvertently romantic evening. First we grabbed a quick slice of pizza from our friendly neighborhood Generic Suburb New Jersey Mafia Pizza Parlor.

After that, we went to PetSmart to get Dog a new leather collar since his regular collar appears to be aggravating his skin. While we were there, we also picked up a refill for Cat's little scratcher toy thingy, which is basically an overpriced hunk of corrugated cardboard.

Wife also wanted to stop at the Office Max next door since she needed some blue poster board for a little project she was working on for her substitute teaching repertoire.

As it turns out, Wife and I both share a deep love of browsing aisles and aisles of office supplies. I prefer the organizational planners and memo pads and such. Wife prefers crates for hanging file folders. Needless to say, we both had a grand ol' time. And it wasn't even date night! (Somewhere in my head, I can hear Will Ferrell saying "Gonna be a nice little Saturday... Gonna go to Home Depot, maybe Bad Bath & Beyond, I don't know! I don't know if we'll have enough time!!")

We came home, and tomorrow's trash day, so we had to get all the trash in the house bundled up and taken out to the curb for tomorrow morning's pickup. While we were in the garage taking out the garbage, we wound up brainstorming on ways to organize our garage, most of which involving various supplies we would be purchasing at Costco (shocking, right?).

After all that excitement, we came back inside and tried out the dog collar and cat scratcher we bought at PetSmart. Turns out we suck at buying things for Cat and Dog. Dog's collar was too big, and so was the refill for Cat's scratcher thingy. There's not much I can do about the collar; we'll just have to take that back. However, we decided to get adventurous with the cat scratcher thingy.

Wife and I had the exact same thought right at the same time: this was a perfect opportunity to play with our electric carving knife, one of our favorite and least exercised wedding presents. Well, it turns out if you take an electric knife to a cat scratcher thingy, all you get is a lot of sawdust. So I took the thingy outside and sawed off the edge with a hand saw my dad gave me as part of a housewarming gift bundle o' tools. I brought it back in, and it fit perfectly. Cat proceeded to go ape shit, scratching and rubbing herself all over the damn thing.

In summary, holy shit, I am the most domesticated man alive, and I don't even know how or when this happened to me. I'm going to go snort some cocaine off a dead hooker, excuse me...